Patrick Altoft of BlogStorm, who always writes great articles, suggests joining Twitter now or regretting it. Though I can’t understand why. Am I dense? James Mowery suggested here the other day that Twitter is the blogger’s new sidekick. But despite being an opinionated blogger who needs to write about the stuff I believe (in), I still feel no compulsion to use Twitter regularly. I am either too private to Twitter, or too dense to see any value that won’t be regarded as “gaming” or even “spamming”. Or both.
And despite not having used my Twitter account for nearly a year, I’m getting emails everyday about all the new people following me. So help me out here. Are you following me? What the heck are you following me for (or anyone, for that matter)? Seriously. I’m sure you don’t want to read tweets of the “must shave back of hand again and tweeze unibrow by Friday” variety. Would you want to to see links to articles I’ve written wherever? Or are you after my deepest, darkest thoughts? Or are you hoping I’ll follow you too and see whatever it is you have to Twitter? What exactly are you twittering? Why should I follow you, too?
These are actually serious questions. I already have to divide my day up into reading, writing, coding, film/video work, obsessing over site metrics, pretending my cat is my psychiatrist, using sock puppet accounts to promote crappy articles that my online friends request, and other very/ self-important tasks. So what am I going to get out of following you on Twitter? Many of the top bloggers I already follow tweet some of the most inane belly lint I’ve ever seen, and it’s actually the reason I stopped bothering with Twitter.
I figure that Twitter users fall into several catgories, though not necessarily mutually exclusive:
- [added] Utility twittering, such as the LAFD have done, which shows fire events in the LA area.
- Lonely girls (and boys)who find a few lonely minutes while working at home and want to “communicate” with others.
- Social media marketers who basically only tweet their article links.
- Really clever types that add something amusing (comedy, poetry) to the Twitosphere.
- Real celebrities such as Henry Rollins, who give us a brief look at what’s going on in their life and tour dates.
- Fake celebrities. By that I don’t mean Paris Hilton, but rather the “Fake Steve Jobs” of the Twitosphere.
- Straight out spammers who follow EVERYONE they can.
Take your pick. (Did I miss any?) Which categories are you in? Personally, I’d rather be blogging. Unless Twitter started allowing us to embed videos or audio – in which case I’d start twittering again, embedding all kinds of crazy fun videos, or maybe music video set lists. (Ain’t Tom Jones infectious? And Justin Timberlake thinks he’s bringing sexy back. Boyo, you don’t even come close. Watch the last video below of Tommy boy dancing and you’ll understand why women threw panties at him on stage. Feet don’t fail me now.)