Will Pay Big Dollars for Blogs with fake High Page Rank!

I have very very very recently come into a large amount of money. I responded to an email from Sir Jimmey Von Singh, the great grandson of the Minister of Oil Revenues from Nigeria. Jimmey's great grandfather Bubbadoc Von Singh was held as a political prisoner and his fortune of some $132,000,000 was frozen by the Federal Action Task Force in the US upon the suspicion that the very elder Von Singh was the illegitimate father of Osama Bin Laden. This makes Osama, Jimmey's great uncle, I think.

Anyway, poor Jimmey is an invalid and a moron. I mean that in the nicest way as Jimmey has an IQ of approximately 37. One of his kindly care givers helped him compose an email to me requesting my help. The email simply asked for my help in transferring the Von Singh fortune out of Nigeria. All I had to do was forge some paperwork that proved that the eldest Von Singh was not in fact Osama Bin Ladens real father. The paper work was not entirely sufficient proof and so I also provided a DNA sample. Its not what you think, it wasn't my DNA.

After watching Beerfest on HBO, I came upon the idea to masterbate a frog manually and so I submitted frog sperm along with forged paperwork to my connections at the Department of Homeland Defense, where they dried the sample and mixed it into Dick Cheney's morning coffee. Dick Cheney has the uncanny capability to perform DNA testing by tasting it, and sure enough he was able to make a match between the frog sperm and Osama Bin Laden.

The eldest Von Singh was temporarily removed from the list and his fortune was temporarily unfrozen. I next provided the nurse of the moron Von Singh with access to my social security number, my credit card numbers and my atm pin numbers. The nurse was then able to pay off all of the debt on my credit cards, and transfer $129,398,388 to my bank accounts, the difference was withheld for wire fees and differences in exchange rates at the time of the transfer.

I then purchased as much uncut cocaine as possible and sold that on the street cut with baby formula and lead paint shaved off of barbie dolls calling this new drug Powdered Lead. Powdered Lead was the new Cheese and sold like crack. I turned the $129,398,388 into $834,583,379.

I then took the moron Von Singh's money and established an account for him with the Bank of America. I also set up the moron Von Singh's nurse with an account with $10,000,000. I then contributed $1,000,000 to each of the Presidential candidates running for office from both parties just in case I might need a pardon some day.

I have been wisely investing my money and my fortune has grown to just over $1 billion.

I now want to clean up the blogosphere and so I'm making a bid to purchase every single splog or blog with fake pagerank. The higher the fake pagerank the better. I'll pay rates for each blog ranging from $50,000 - $100,000, plus I will provide a premium for any fake blogs with stolen content, especially when that content was stolen from a site with a valid copyright.

If you are interested in selling your blog with fake page rank to me, just sit back and wait for my people to contact you. We'll deliver your money via paypal (we know all your accounts). We'll then make arrangements for you to have the domain and any hosting arrangements transferred to our ownership.

If you feel that the payment you will receive is to low, you can file one haggle rebuttal. All you need to do is email a picture of yourself to Matt Cutts at Google. Please make the picture a naked picture with lipstick scrawled on your ass saying, I sold my blog with fake pagerank for $100,000 and that sucks.

Matt Cutts will get in touch with me (He can find anyone because he works for Google.) I'll then make arrangements to send you 10 kilos of Powdered Lead. You can sell it on the street yourself and retire or be shot by the end of the year.

If you believe that you should also read my new blog ViralGrapeVine it has a real pagerank of 0.