We bloggers are a friendly breed. We are always looking to find new readers, and do whatever it takes to build relationships with other bloggers.

Regardless of what people say about online relationships, I believe that online friendships can learn a thing or two from the real world relationships. It's not like online relationships are a mere networking between faceless computers. There are real people behind computers who share this 3 dimensional world with us.

Considering how difficult it is for many bloggers to make friends through blogging, I've made a list of things to do and avoid that will help you make new contacts in the blogosphere.

Things to do and avoid on your blog

Don't speak authoritatively - Although I believe that having authority in your voice is vital if you want others to take you seriously, it is not wise to assume that you are the boss. It's your blog, all right, but your readers are not your employees. Whether they visit your blog or not is their personal choice. Nothing is stopping them to quit visiting if they find your words condescending. After all, you don't pay them to visit.

Be polite and friendly if you want your readers to treat you as a friend. No one really likes to befriend bullies.

Reply to every commenter in person - It ticks me off when I make a comment on a blog (especially when I ask a question) and the blog owner does not care to reply back to me. Comments section on blogs are there for a reason - use them to interact with your readers. There are bloggers who have turned off the commenting option for some silly reason they give, but it's still understandable. They tell me straight away: read this and move on. No comments allowed. But if you have enabled commenting, you should consider replying to those who take the time to comment on your blog.

As I said, virtual world is not a whole lot different from the real world. In real world, if we talk to someone and get a blank stare in reply, we assume that either that person is too arrogant or a bit on the other side of sanity. This is exactly what I think of the bloggers who don't care about my comments. I think of them as too proud or too reserved. So, on I move.

Speak in a conversational voice- As opposed to conventional writing, blogs are supposed to be conversational. None of your formal business-like writing rules hold anymore. Therefore, if you want to elicit replies from your readers, talk to them as you would talk to them in the real world.

This is the beauty of blogging. You can be conversational and yet avoid the mistakes you make in real world conversations. It's writing because you can edit your words and decide what to say and what to hold back. It's a conversation because you are talking to your readers and you want them to respond to you. You get the best of both worlds!

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Great bloggers are always on the lookout for opportunities to link to other blogs. Linking for traffic and incoming links is a good thing. Sometimes an idea offers more than one opportunity. In like manner, often a blogger has a choice of ideas to write about.

The very word linking implies a relationship, but I'm talking about more than a one-link stand. Long-term relationships with other bloggers offer support and visibilty that short-term, high-traffic links will probably never deliver.

Many bloggers begin their blogging day by reading feeds. They link to the article that sparks the idea they will be blogging about that day. If this is your style of blogging, take a moment to review your feeds. Add in blogs at your level that have the same values and quality standards as those you hold for your own blog. Remove all that don't meet your standards. Have a 70% ratio of blogs at your level or one level higher -- don't read only A List blogs.

Sometimes we blog in the opposite direction. We write the article. Then we look for a links and quotes to support what we have said. Use the same standards to choose the links you'll share with readers. Find the strongest example from a blog that you hope to have a relationship with as your blog grows.

Here's how to put this relationship linking strategy in action.

If you've chosen well, soon you and a new blogger friend will be exchanging post links when appropriate and sharing thoughts and ideas through the comment box, email, and even voice.

As each of your blogs grows, you'll both be stronger for the links. You'll introduce that blogger to your readers, and the same will happen for you. This one long-term relatiosnship will add lasting value to your blog long after a one-shot link to a blog that has interesting content.

Liz Strauss