"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"—Italian Proverb

I've been a professional blogger for around two years now, and I got my big break at Mashable. I managed to make a name for myself within the short time I was there, but a lack of creative freedom to write about what I wanted lead me to not being as enthusiastic about my job as I once was. The money was great, but it wasn't worth the cost of having to write about what others wanted me to write about while my ideas were shot down left and right. I have to express myself freely in order to work well.

Was leaving a mistake? Absolutely not! It lead to other opportunities which I enjoy including this Performancing job which I love. I also started a blog for the first time in nearly a year, OnlyJames—my personal blog.

There are, unfortunately, mistakes which I have made that have taken their toll. Each one is an experience that I had to learn from if I expected to progress as a professional blogger.

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Human hearts are fragile. We fear so many things. Most of the time we fear hurting others, letting them down, letting ourselves down. Losing what love we have. We are so afraid of what we cannot say, we deny them the right to choose. The words unspoken can stand between you when all the while the truth could have bound you together. Secrets and unspoken words wound a union. The only thing that sets us free is truth and trust.

I am not afraid of truth. I am strong and know my heart. When it comes to facing trouble, I look it in the eye. When it comes to love, there is much a person can gain from shared strength. Words unspoken. How can anyone weather a storm alone? What is needed is faith and trust in the ones you love, and maybe in the ones you are not yet sure of, taking a chance that this person before you is worthy even if you have no proof other than some words on a blog. Trusting that they just might be willing to see the whole you and still find deep and abiding love to share with you in your hour of need. I have struggled plenty of times with what to say on this blog and what not to, there are parts of me I am not always sure others will accept and/or love, but I always end up putting it out there, cause I trust that the truth of me will shine, even if they cannot accept something about me, even if I face losing a friend, I post my truth, because my truth sets me free. Any true heart would seek to understand and accept parts of me that are not so easy to swallow. I know my friends will rise to the challenge of truth, but even if they couldn't I would still speak it. My truth is my connection to God. When you speak truth, you grow ever closer to him.

RWG said something in a blog I didn't understand. I was a bit comtemplative about it. He said someone must love God more than the person they are in love with. This, at first, was not something I was sure I agreed with. What I realize just now is that, he is correct. Truth is more important to me than friends who cannot understand. God is more important to me that a mate who cannot accept his place just under God. Wow. Talk about learning something profound about yourself. The reason I feel this way, or am coming to see it that way, is that one who loves you truly accepts all parts of you. Your truth, if truly felt, becomes their truth. Without that they cannot stand as your love, for without understanding who you are, love is lost. Damn, this means I need to say thank you to RWG, and that will hurt a little, my ego you know?

Love is being there for the one you love. Letting the truth set you free. What secrets of yourself are you hiding while thinking you are saving someone from pain? What right to choose are you withholding out of a misplaced sense of honor? Are you afraid to trust the bond between you? Are you uncertain they are worthy of this much faith? Perhaps you need this answer, for will you not always wonder if you don't tell them, if they would have accepted you? Will you not wonder if your love was truly returned? Will you not pine for the rest of your life for what the truth might have been? What they might have shown you in your hour of deepest need?

I am just a blogger, but I have a lot to say. I am learning my soul and in it I am finding the flower of someone who loves God, who knew? I am finding also the flower of someone who loves people, who accepts them and their truths. I want to know the things you are afraid to say. I want the gift of your truth. I want to show you that I am worthy of your trust in me. Let me in and I will not let you down. Who am I speaking to? Maybe I am speaking to you. Maybe I am speaking to myself. Perhaps, I am just letting the world know that I am a truthseeker, a truthspeaker, a truthgiver. I am not asking for your truth, I am letting you know that I am here when you are ready to share it or not share it. I am here. I am not going anywhere.

Without you.

"impossible is nothing"

you may have heard this being used on some Addidas adverts recently but stop and think about the true meaning of those three words.

In my opinion these words are a guideline for how we should veiw any hard desisions or setbacks we have in our lives, whenever you think that you have hit rock bottom and you think there is no way back and that it would be IMPOSSIBLE just think of this...

If everything was easy then life would be boring, all this is is a brick wall, a hurdle in my journey of life, if it was put there for a reason then there is a way for you to get round it or over it. if you are more of a pessimist then think of this being the lowest of the low and change yourself become an optimist and say to yourself "impossible is nothing" you will have a boost of confidence that only a positive person has, this will help you, it haelped me through alot of things in my life so far, from breakups to depression!

this is my first blog. just for fun. but it seems something wrong