Ryan recently posted three reasons why he prefers working with girls, er, women. My wife came into my home office (she needed a break from working on her book's index, I guess, so I was voted to take a break from what I was working on.) and read the article over my shoulder.

I started to dive for my bomb shelter but she only said: You should write about how your most important bosses have been women.

Which really halted me in my tracks because I hadn't really thought about that. But it was true. I hate it when she does that - must be that listening stuff she's always going on about. I should listen to it someday.

I've had three female bosses (6 years total) and they taught me things that I have never even gotten a hint about from my male bosses. Since we all *love* lists, and I'm competitive, I'm going to give you more than a 200% list improvement:

-> Feelings matter
-> Management style is who you are
-> Listening is more important that talking
-> It's a long game, play with joy
-> Harmony is important
-> Teams are more than leaders
-> Sometimes it is a fight to the death

Feelings matter

It's not always about what someone has accomplished but how they felt about it. I use this advice all the time, though it is really diametrical to my 'get er done' mentality. Sometimes your people need to emote more than they need to work. Or they have some technical problem stuck in their craw and they need to solve it rather than go around it. I don't do it all the time (this isn't a Montesorri school) but sometimes I just let them go on and do what they need to do. My teams are better and, overall, more productive because of it.

Management style is who you are

You can't be a jerk at work and nice at home. Natch.

Listening is more important that talking

This is especially true for smart people (I'm moderately bright) and for men (let me check ... yep) and when you put the two together you get Interruptions-Are-Us. I had a boss give me five Tannen books and it was great for my job and my marriage.

It's a long game, play with joy

You don't win every battle, nor get every promotion, so enjoy your work when you can.

Harmony is important

Sometimes we do just have to all get along. Over aggressive joking or brutal code reviews or sullen drinking at the bar are not team spirit activities. So you have to plan and design tasks that bring people to work together in a positive fashion. Very California touch-feely, but, oh, it does work a trick.

Teams are more than leaders

I admit it, I'm a proponent of "Great Man History" and that bleeds over into my work life. But, really, above, say, Lead Engineer, we're all pretty replaceable in the medium term. So you have to listen (that word again) and nurture at all levels.

Sometimes it is a fight to the death

I didn't learn this the first time. My (female) boss pulled the group in and said another engineering group was trying to absorb our group and that we had to take X, Y, and Z actions immediately. Like everyone else I just went ahead with my tasks since X/Y/Z weren't on my to-do list. Six months later she was reporting to her peer, we were all working the new team's maintenance, and you can guess the rest. The next time I got a new (female) boss who said that she wanted to look at reorganizing my dozen or so person team and could I please prepare a list of my accomplishments for her review? I read that one and got my resume out - she chased me out of the company in a quarter.

Parting thoughts

Your mileage may vary. Contents may settle during shipping. Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Nobody knows you're a dog on the internet.

Could I have learned that stuff from a man? Probably. But I didn't, though I've learned other stuff. I've been around everything from startups to SME's to Mega-Corps over the last 25 years, so I've had quite a variety of bosses. The guys have varied a lot, with good nuggets here and there, but nothing outstanding.

Are all female bosses Yoda like and wise beyond Ghandi? Even my wife would admit to only 98%. Please note that my last female boss basically hectored me out of a company and cost me a bundle in stock options. (nota bene: that upped my political radar to 11 and has saved me more than it's cost me, so no grudges) I'm just saying that, on average, the women who've been my manager have been singular. As a group. You know what I mean.

I've been working online long enough to have learned a few lessons.

Lesson Numero Uno: Girls, on average, are much better working partners than guys.

It's as good as a scientific law. I've worked with enough people (hundreds) to feel confident in my conclusion.

Now this doesn't mean that there aren't some good guys out there. My friends Chris, Raj and Ahmed are three of the best people you could imagine working with. But for every Chris, there are nine lazy-ass guys sitting around trying to suck away your money. It's a fact. A law of nature.

So here are three reasons I like working with girls better than guys:

1. Girls are more dependable.

Ask a female for a favor (no, not that kind sickos), and if she says yes, it gets done, done well, and earlier than you expect. Not so with most guys. Just an observation. But I bet you know what I'm talking about.

2. Girls do it more thoroughly

Aside from the rare perfectionist beast like Chris Pearson, I've found that most girls just do the job more completely. I get a more polished product from the average girl, then I do from the average guy. Just an observation. No need to flame me.

3. Girls are more willing to take suggestions

Whether it's because they don't have egos the size of Texas, or because they just want to do the best job possible, I've never had a girl act offended or defensible from a suggestion. And revisions...they do them with joy.

Most guys I've worked with...drag their feet, and mumble some incoherent nonsense when asked for improvements. Just an observation. A fact, that's as good as a law of nature.